Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
