If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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