Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So vagazzling was a success
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
