I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
