Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she woke up with a sticky ear
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
