I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize