Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
