wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Too much gin, very little bucket
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
