Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.

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(207): View more from Maine

Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

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(765): View more from Indiana

So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.

(1405): View more from

I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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(423): View more from Tennessee

my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg

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(661): View more from California

Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room

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(703): View more from Virginia

Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...

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(512): View more from Texas

It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car

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