I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
