Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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