How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
