U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
