dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
