im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So many bounce houses so little time
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
