Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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