Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
one two three fourrrrnication!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
