So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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