Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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