There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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