White coat. Heels.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
