it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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