I bet he comes in French.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
