The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
