Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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