drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
