i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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