Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
