I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
