Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize