the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
