Well apparently he's into motor boating.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
