Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
