This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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