girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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