I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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