You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
