no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
