I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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