u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
