Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
