I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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