Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
