As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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