Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
