drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
