you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
