yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
