At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
