i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
