I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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