I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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