I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
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