Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I faked an abortion last night.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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