the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
