we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
