i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
