Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
