I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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