what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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