Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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