bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
