I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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