at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
