she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Also, beer. Big fan.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
