I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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