But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A bitchslap is in order.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
