you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
